What I learned last week

In the last week, I learned a few things.

  • I learned that the Pope is a committed leftist, but his rhetoric is a whole lot softer than I was originally led to believe.
  • I learned that the media will overdose us on Pope dope and interrupt regular programming with rooftop camera shots of the Papal motorcade making a left on a Manhattan street. It may take an act of Congress to prevent Debbie Wasserman-Schultz from renaming the intersection, “The Holy Left.”
  • I learned that one Pope, even a leftist one, is enough to shut up every atheist for at least a little while.
  • I learned Hillary Clinton is a dead candidate walking.
  • I learned that John Boehner had a nervous breakdown on Thursday, between 10 and 11 in the morning.
  • I learned that Bernie Sanders really is completely out of his mind and a true believing socialist, but I repeat myself.
  • I learned there isn’t any depth to which the current President won’t sink to save his historical legacy.
  • I learned that Michael Bloomberg thinks we don’t have enough ego maniac billionaires in the race for President .
  • I learned what Donald Trump’s plan for America is: “You won’t believe how great America will be when I am President.” And I agree. I don’t believe it already.
  • I learned that Ben Carson is a whole lot smarter than media figures asking him questions.
  • I learned that I am locked in a four way tie for the Republican nomination for President with Bobby Jindal, George Pataki and Lindsay Graham. We all have 0%. And I haven’t spent a dime.

Comment on Facebook

Leave A Response